Wedding “The Vows to follow or compromises to live… “

English: Hindu bride and groom by a holy fire ...

Sita & David's Wedding - Hindu Ceremony

– Hindu Ceremony

It’s been a while I did not post anything new though I don’t have many who follows me but still I was missed at least with the feeling of not been able to write.

As the winter’s starts in India so as the wedding season, unlike western countries Indian wedding only happens on the basis of the birth charts and auspicious dates taken out on the basis of the birth chart of the bride and groom. So as always a long list of invitations from the relatives and friends was at my doorstep. As always I knew that I won’t be going 95% of them but there was one which I could not dare to miss. Two really good school friends decided to tie a knot which came to me with much surprise but I was happy for both  as they were good friends for long time so practically knows pros and cons about each other.(compatibility issue discarded in this case)

So I was present at the wedding with the old gang (my school friends ofcourse not the MAFIA), ceremony began following the rituals everyone seems to be happy. Seems yes that the word they seem to be happy but are they really happy?  With bird’s eye view everyone carry smile on their face but when you put them under the microscope of reality things are way to more different. Our society is such we don’t like to discuss things which bother us in a relationship even between husband and wife. The rosy picture of married life is much more complicated and difficult not just for woman but for man also.

As the groom and bride started the PHERAS (Seven Vows taken while both circle around the holy fire) a thought came in my mind how many of us actually follows these vows are they really vows or just the guideline for compromises…

The seven vows as per Hindu religions are –

The Seven Vows:

1. Groom:
You will offer me food and be helpful in every way. I will cherish you and provide welfare and happiness for you and our children.
I am responsible for the home and all household responsibilities.

Together we will protect our house and children.
I will be by your side as your courage and strength. I will rejoice in your happiness. In return, you will love me solely.

May we grow wealthy and prosperous and strive for the education of our children. May our children live long.
I will love you solely for the rest of my life, as you are my husband. Every other man in my life will be secondary. I vow to remain chaste. –

You have brought sacredness into my life, and have completed me. May we be blessed with noble and obedient children.
I will shower you with joy, from head to toe. I will strive to please you in every way I can.

Groom: You are my best friend, and staunchest well-wisher. You have come into my life, enriching it. God bless you.
I promise to love and cherish you for as long as I live. Your happiness is my happiness, and your sorrow is my sorrow. I will trust and honor you, and will strive to fulfill all your wishes.

May you be filled with joy and peace.
I will always be by your side.

We are now husband and wife, and are one. You are mine and I am yours for eternity.
As God is witness, I am now your wife. We will love, honor and cherish each other forever.

All I see here are the norms of compromise a woman has to do, she vows to be faithful and be chaste, she has to be there for him no matter what wherein he only vows for her food and basic  in simple requirements words. For all the efforts of her being his support system he pledges to earn for house and produce children.

Recalling all the real meaning of these vows made me realize is it really a holy matrimony or an unsigned bond of labor. I am not anti my religion but when our society comes to marriage is such that it does not want to bend. So called being orthodox has ruined many marriages and life of individuals. A research said the percentage of divorce in India has increased and a simple reason behind this Indian women are no longer confined to their household they stepped outside in the world of men. They work to slog themselves but again after returning home no one is ready to serve them hot tea or water but their kitchen waits for them to start their second shift of unpaid work.  But to my dismay we keep on working like machines trying to live up to everyone’s expectation.

As the time is changing our society has to change along with the changes in the vows not just for the formalities but as a habit or as upbringing so that we respect our life partners and open to discuss things as a team not as a MASTER OR SLAVE.


Moving on is the best

Moving Forward

Moving Forward (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It doesn’t matter how many new people come into your life when you’re looking for that someone special, someone who’s going to be your only focus. If there’s any doubt of them not being your someone special, your only focus, then don’t go creating future problems and do the right thing when it’s evident they’re not your someone special by being considerate and mature enough to call it and say goodbye instead of leading someone on with false hopes. As hard as it may be it’s the right and only thing to do to avoid future sorrows

I for U



Goodbye (Photo credit: Feggy Art)

You saw me being dumb, but i did to make u laugh
You saw me being stupid, but i did to make u look smart
You saw me crying, but i did so that you can hug me
You saw me being careless, but i did so that u can be responsible
You saw me ignoring, but i did so that i can get your attention
I wish just wish you could have understood me how incomplete i feel without you……

Heart…O heart insane!!!

Romantic Heart form Love Seeds

Romantic Heart form Love Seeds (Photo credit:

Heart…O heart insane!!!
So many times I’ve made you understand
Yet you strive…strive to love

Give up once again…do not hold
Move ahead…let there be secrets untold
Be left as hurt be torn
For so was it meant behold

O you learn to live without a price

If all that meant was sacrifice
Do it once it with a smile
For such is living for a while

Do not cry for you’ve loved
Heart O my heart insane!!!



Friends (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Flickr friends

Flickr friends (Photo credit: Meer)

Sitting Idol is the time I think of you
looking back how it all started without any clue

Accidentally became acquaintance as you were seeking someone else
Mere took three days for us to be out of our shell

Was it coincident or destiny cant figure out
All i know its distinct and different in whole about

Never felt strange or uncomfortable around you
People might judge it but i m thinking its true

I found a Friend in you a friend who makes me smile
Makes me keep trying makes me feel all right

Love Kills once you kill it

In Love and Death

In Love and Death (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Love does not live here anymore, I murdered it and now I’m serving my life sentence in the cage of hatred

Its ME

Lonely tree

On the path of life I walked with smile,

Got hurt got sabotage everything-everyone left me but smile,


I thought I had someone holding my hand

But then it was only me with my hand in hand


Promises are meant to be broken

Dreams are meant to be shattered


So I decided I won’t dream again

So I decided I won’t rely on promises again


No one would wipe my tears so it’s better to smile

No one would hold hand so it’s better not to whine


It was me it is me and it will be ME just ME

Strange is the relation of Heart by Heart for Heart

How strange it is one day you are stranger to each other second day you become friends and third day you become good friends… Sometime it takes ages to understand someone and sometime it takes just few days or few hours or few mins or few secs to know or understand … ironical is the nature of beings I wonder why

Old Friends, New Friends

Old Friends, New Friends (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Broken Dreams weaves new one


Dream! (Photo credit: Melody Campbell)

Dreams can be broken so as the relations,

but when I looked into the pieces of broken dreams,

A new dream was born, dream to try again,

dream to get what I seek with new way and reason….

One more time


What should I say what you are to me..

How should I show what I feel when you are with me..


Was walking alone with no one to hold my hand..

That’s where u came and took a stand..


With no dreams just broken thoughts in my mind..

You held me, made me dream took my side


Fooling the world with fake smile and laugh on my face

You were the one who could feel and gaze my pain..


Had friends to cheer but no one to walk along,

You pushed me when tired, making me strong


Was humiliated and ignored with all the flaws

You made me realize no limitation can be a cause


They hurt they thrashed and you did the same

They ran they left but you stood in shame.


You cried with every tear I shed

Made me smile…

View original post 108 more words