Time has passed but I remained the same,
Seasons changed but my heart remained the same,
Forgetting those moments has become difficult
Few things fade as you merge in the cult
It was a regular spring morning everyone left but me as every year during this time I keep myself busy with cleaning the junk out of my house. After almost sweeping the house clean I came across a box in my attic, a box full of old memories and unforgettable moments, memories which were still alive in my heart no matter how much I try to forget they won’t fade I guess few things fades as you fade from this earthy world. With that box in my hands time just stopped as it did on that day…..
Later that day while sitting at my favorite place on terrace, looking at the sunset with soft breeze flowing with sweet fragrances of spring flowers took me back in time. Those moments captured in my heart, that time I want to relive again and again no matter what, where I am and how I am. A fairytale with not a happy ending but still every single second worth reliving. Looking at the picture I thought again how fast time flies it seems it was just yesterday when I had him in my arms.
He was my shoulder to lean on when I needed one and I was his smile when he craved for one. We were best friends, we were those unspoken lovers who knew the best relation is such where you love each other but yet remain good friends. There were moments our eyes stuck with each other, looking for a reason to hug each other or hold hands or find any stupid reason to see each other.
This was the last day before we decided to move on and follow the path life has chosen for us, tears were not allowed, we wanted it to be the best day of our life having each other by our side. A long trek by the mountain, breakfast at our favorite joint and then a long ride on a bike till countryside, a small picnic by the river side. We sat for hours holding hands talking about things cracking jokes on each other knowing that these are the few last hour together and will never come back.
As wind touched my face again it reminded me while ridding back as I placed my head on his shoulder I was filled with question such as how would I be able to come out of the downfall , where would I get the shoulder to lean on and who will make me see the sunshine after the stormy night. As planned we reached the same alley, the same road, the same stair where it all begun, where we first met but this time it was for the last time. Time has come to say our goodbyes, time to let go each other and time to survive without each other.
We stood there for a few minutes holding hands looking into each other eyes saying nothing but saying lot of things, a part of us just don’t want to move on a part of us just want the time to freeze and then something happened which never happened before,something which both of us stopped each other to do so many times but that day we could not and we kissed, it was a perfect kiss. Then came those words, those unspoken words simultaneously “I Love You”. It was always there we knew we love each other we knew we will always love each other but we never said till that day.
We stood there in each other arms forgetting about the world, about the people around us we just stood there don’t even remember for how long till someone walked up to us and handed over this picture saying “I am sorry but could not help capturing a untold story, hope this will be with you forever” and it did not just because of the picture but for many other reasons.
Forgetting those moments has become difficult
Few things fade as you merge in the cult
Posted in response to this week’s writing challenge:
It’s been a while I did not post anything new though I don’t have many who follows me but still I was missed at least with the feeling of not been able to write.
As the winter’s starts in India so as the wedding season, unlike western countries Indian wedding only happens on the basis of the birth charts and auspicious dates taken out on the basis of the birth chart of the bride and groom. So as always a long list of invitations from the relatives and friends was at my doorstep. As always I knew that I won’t be going 95% of them but there was one which I could not dare to miss. Two really good school friends decided to tie a knot which came to me with much surprise but I was happy for both as they were good friends for long time so practically knows pros and cons about each other.(compatibility issue discarded in this case)
So I was present at the wedding with the old gang (my school friends ofcourse not the MAFIA), ceremony began following the rituals everyone seems to be happy. Seems yes that the word they seem to be happy but are they really happy? With bird’s eye view everyone carry smile on their face but when you put them under the microscope of reality things are way to more different. Our society is such we don’t like to discuss things which bother us in a relationship even between husband and wife. The rosy picture of married life is much more complicated and difficult not just for woman but for man also.
As the groom and bride started the PHERAS (Seven Vows taken while both circle around the holy fire) a thought came in my mind how many of us actually follows these vows are they really vows or just the guideline for compromises…
The seven vows as per Hindu religions are –
The Seven Vows:
You will offer me food and be helpful in every way. I will cherish you and provide welfare and happiness for you and our children.
I am responsible for the home and all household responsibilities.
Together we will protect our house and children.
I will be by your side as your courage and strength. I will rejoice in your happiness. In return, you will love me solely.
May we grow wealthy and prosperous and strive for the education of our children. May our children live long.
I will love you solely for the rest of my life, as you are my husband. Every other man in my life will be secondary. I vow to remain chaste. –
You have brought sacredness into my life, and have completed me. May we be blessed with noble and obedient children.
I will shower you with joy, from head to toe. I will strive to please you in every way I can.
Groom: You are my best friend, and staunchest well-wisher. You have come into my life, enriching it. God bless you.
I promise to love and cherish you for as long as I live. Your happiness is my happiness, and your sorrow is my sorrow. I will trust and honor you, and will strive to fulfill all your wishes.
May you be filled with joy and peace.
I will always be by your side.
We are now husband and wife, and are one. You are mine and I am yours for eternity.
As God is witness, I am now your wife. We will love, honor and cherish each other forever.
All I see here are the norms of compromise a woman has to do, she vows to be faithful and be chaste, she has to be there for him no matter what wherein he only vows for her food and basic in simple requirements words. For all the efforts of her being his support system he pledges to earn for house and produce children.
Recalling all the real meaning of these vows made me realize is it really a holy matrimony or an unsigned bond of labor. I am not anti my religion but when our society comes to marriage is such that it does not want to bend. So called being orthodox has ruined many marriages and life of individuals. A research said the percentage of divorce in India has increased and a simple reason behind this Indian women are no longer confined to their household they stepped outside in the world of men. They work to slog themselves but again after returning home no one is ready to serve them hot tea or water but their kitchen waits for them to start their second shift of unpaid work. But to my dismay we keep on working like machines trying to live up to everyone’s expectation.
As the time is changing our society has to change along with the changes in the vows not just for the formalities but as a habit or as upbringing so that we respect our life partners and open to discuss things as a team not as a MASTER OR SLAVE.
It doesn’t matter how many new people come into your life when you’re looking for that someone special, someone who’s going to be your only focus. If there’s any doubt of them not being your someone special, your only focus, then don’t go creating future problems and do the right thing when it’s evident they’re not your someone special by being considerate and mature enough to call it and say goodbye instead of leading someone on with false hopes. As hard as it may be it’s the right and only thing to do to avoid future sorrows
Give up once again…do not hold
Move ahead…let there be secrets untold
Be left as hurt be torn
For so was it meant behold
O you learn to live without a price
Do it once again..do it with a smile
For such is living for a while
Do not cry for you’ve loved
Heart O my heart insane!!!
Sitting Idol is the time I think of you
looking back how it all started without any clue
Accidentally became acquaintance as you were seeking someone else
Mere took three days for us to be out of our shell
Was it coincident or destiny cant figure out
All i know its distinct and different in whole about
Never felt strange or uncomfortable around you
People might judge it but i m thinking its true
I found a Friend in you a friend who makes me smile
Makes me keep trying makes me feel all right
Love does not live here anymore, I murdered it and now I’m serving my life sentence in the cage of hatred
On the path of life I walked with smile,
Got hurt got sabotage everything-everyone left me but smile,
I thought I had someone holding my hand
But then it was only me with my hand in hand
Promises are meant to be broken
Dreams are meant to be shattered
So I decided I won’t dream again
So I decided I won’t rely on promises again
No one would wipe my tears so it’s better to smile
No one would hold hand so it’s better not to whine
It was me it is me and it will be ME just ME
How strange it is one day you are stranger to each other second day you become friends and third day you become good friends… Sometime it takes ages to understand someone and sometime it takes just few days or few hours or few mins or few secs to know or understand … ironical is the nature of beings I wonder why
Dreams can be broken so as the relations,
but when I looked into the pieces of broken dreams,
A new dream was born, dream to try again,
dream to get what I seek with new way and reason….