Wedding “The Vows to follow or compromises to live… “


English: Hindu bride and groom by a holy fire ...

Sita & David's Wedding - Hindu Ceremony

– Hindu Ceremony

It’s been a while I did not post anything new though I don’t have many who follows me but still I was missed at least with the feeling of not been able to write.

As the winter’s starts in India so as the wedding season, unlike western countries Indian wedding only happens on the basis of the birth charts and auspicious dates taken out on the basis of the birth chart of the bride and groom. So as always a long list of invitations from the relatives and friends was at my doorstep. As always I knew that I won’t be going 95% of them but there was one which I could not dare to miss. Two really good school friends decided to tie a knot which came to me with much surprise but I was happy for both  as they were good friends for long time so practically knows pros and cons about each other.(compatibility issue discarded in this case)

So I was present at the wedding with the old gang (my school friends ofcourse not the MAFIA), ceremony began following the rituals everyone seems to be happy. Seems yes that the word they seem to be happy but are they really happy?  With bird’s eye view everyone carry smile on their face but when you put them under the microscope of reality things are way to more different. Our society is such we don’t like to discuss things which bother us in a relationship even between husband and wife. The rosy picture of married life is much more complicated and difficult not just for woman but for man also.

As the groom and bride started the PHERAS (Seven Vows taken while both circle around the holy fire) a thought came in my mind how many of us actually follows these vows are they really vows or just the guideline for compromises…

The seven vows as per Hindu religions are –

The Seven Vows:

1. Groom:
You will offer me food and be helpful in every way. I will cherish you and provide welfare and happiness for you and our children.
Bride:
I am responsible for the home and all household responsibilities.

Groom:
Together we will protect our house and children.
Bride:
I will be by your side as your courage and strength. I will rejoice in your happiness. In return, you will love me solely.

Groom:
May we grow wealthy and prosperous and strive for the education of our children. May our children live long.
Bride:
I will love you solely for the rest of my life, as you are my husband. Every other man in my life will be secondary. I vow to remain chaste. –

Groom:
You have brought sacredness into my life, and have completed me. May we be blessed with noble and obedient children.
Bride:
I will shower you with joy, from head to toe. I will strive to please you in every way I can.

Groom: You are my best friend, and staunchest well-wisher. You have come into my life, enriching it. God bless you.
Bride:
I promise to love and cherish you for as long as I live. Your happiness is my happiness, and your sorrow is my sorrow. I will trust and honor you, and will strive to fulfill all your wishes.

Groom:
May you be filled with joy and peace.
Bride:
I will always be by your side.

Groom:
We are now husband and wife, and are one. You are mine and I am yours for eternity.
Bride:
As God is witness, I am now your wife. We will love, honor and cherish each other forever.

All I see here are the norms of compromise a woman has to do, she vows to be faithful and be chaste, she has to be there for him no matter what wherein he only vows for her food and basic  in simple requirements words. For all the efforts of her being his support system he pledges to earn for house and produce children.

Recalling all the real meaning of these vows made me realize is it really a holy matrimony or an unsigned bond of labor. I am not anti my religion but when our society comes to marriage is such that it does not want to bend. So called being orthodox has ruined many marriages and life of individuals. A research said the percentage of divorce in India has increased and a simple reason behind this Indian women are no longer confined to their household they stepped outside in the world of men. They work to slog themselves but again after returning home no one is ready to serve them hot tea or water but their kitchen waits for them to start their second shift of unpaid work.  But to my dismay we keep on working like machines trying to live up to everyone’s expectation.

As the time is changing our society has to change along with the changes in the vows not just for the formalities but as a habit or as upbringing so that we respect our life partners and open to discuss things as a team not as a MASTER OR SLAVE.

Heart…O heart insane!!!


Romantic Heart form Love Seeds

Romantic Heart form Love Seeds (Photo credit: epSos.de)

Heart…O heart insane!!!
So many times I’ve made you understand
Yet you strive…strive to love

Give up once again…do not hold
Move ahead…let there be secrets untold
Be left as hurt be torn
For so was it meant behold

O you learn to live without a price

If all that meant was sacrifice
Do it once again..do it with a smile
For such is living for a while

Do not cry for you’ve loved
Heart O my heart insane!!!

WHO IS SHE…………..


A small phase,a small girl

a small age like a pearl

 

she ran like wind danced like wave

she was the one whom i could not save

 

she was fun she was joy

she was a girl with the nature of boy

 

she wanted to be one, world would know

she was the one whom i did not let grow

 

she did all what she wanted to do

she went there where no one would go

 

she brought pride with her game

she was the one who lost her name

 

she grew learning from her mistake

she cried for all for love sake

 

she climbed high so that no one can reach

but she fell once no one could ever speak

 

she was a fighter and fought again

she crawled she trembled but stood content

 

she loved as if there is no tomorrow

she was the one whom i brought all the sorrow

 

she devoted to what she does

enjoyed life with no fuss

 

She was my soul she was my life

She was the fire in my eyes

 

I know she is still there

but in dark and lost somewhere

 

I want her to shine again

want to take her from where it began

 

Alas, there she was with eyes in tear

face with glimpse of pain and fear

 

She looked dead and pale,

The fire in her eyes has almost fade

 

She stood sliently with a gaze,

Her eyes telling me dont run,have faith,

 

She moved slowly  to reach my hand,

showed me the way to time’s sand,

 

We went through all the pages of life

Saying no words,holding hands side by side

 

She broke the silence and asked me

Tell me what do you see?

 

I replied I see you full of life with a smile,

I see the spark in your eyes,

 

Spreading the joy with no despair

Being happy if a small reason to be there,

 

Filled with remorse and guilt inside

I knew I was the culprit in my mind.

 

With a faint smile on her face

Said Lets try its never too late

 

I was happy and alive

because i had you by my side

 

Life is strange,difficult and a mystery

But don’t forget together we can cross any and all misery

 

She looked different better then before,

calm peaceful and assured.

 

We held our hands with a strong bond,

a bond of trust, faith and will grow strong.

 

But will she be same again…Who she was.. do you know….

“I WISH I WERE ABLE TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND ME”


What should I say what you are to me..

How should I show what I feel when you are with me..

 

Was walking alone with no one to hold my hand..

That’s where u came and took a stand..

 

With no dreams just broken thoughts in my mind..

You held me, made me dream took my side

 

Fooling the world with fake smile and laugh on my face

You were the one who could feel and gaze my pain..

 

Had friends to cheer but no one to walk along,

You pushed me when tired, making me strong

 

Was humiliated and ignored with all the flaws

You made me realize no limitation can be a cause

 

They hurt they thrashed and you did the same

They ran they left but you stood in shame.

 

You cried with every tear I shed

Made me smile with no reason to be there.

 

My trust has broken but it will be same again

All I seek time to give, so if you can

 

My heart is weak but mind can be strong

Want to remove all or any differences born

 

So I have decided set you free

If I am to be with you no matter what I will be

 

Cause one day I hope you will know….

What you are to me

How I feel when you are with me

I wish I were  able to make you understand me…

 Posted in response to this week’s writing challenge: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/10/29/weekly-writing-challenge-i-wish-i-were/